I live in terror these days. Sheer, heart-stopping panic, unmitigated by reason. What, you ask, could terrify me so aside from the obvious (landsharks)?
The Red Ring of Death.
Those around me fall like wheat before the scythe, as a fourth close friend experienced the red ring of death that signals complete system failure for an Xbox 360. I don’t call too many people close friends so it is disturbing enough to know that the Reaper is stalking us. Still, I’m possessed of powerful Warranty Magic so the Reaper alone cannot chill my heart with this kind of foreboding.
Nay. The grim hand of dread that has gripped my soul this morning derives from the realization that were I to experience the foul Ring now, as did my CTO Chris last night, I would likely not get my console back until after September 25th. My god, just writing that has turned my muscles to jelly and is that a bit of wetness I feel dripping down my left leg?
Poor Chris (who went through four of the original Xboxs) has already resolved that he’ll need to purchase a new 360 because, “I will NOT wait to blast some motherfuckers with a Spartan Laser!”
So please, pray for me my friends. If there’s an ounce of humanity in you, pray that I am not marked by the red ring before the 25th. Pray to any God that will listen. (Try Hephaestus. His forges turn out quality stuff.)
And now, I am off to a local farm. There’ll be lamb’s blood on all the doors to stay the Reaper’s hand, and tonight Mr. Gates shall sup on a burnt offering of the finest organic, sustainably-raised Sonoma lamb.
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September 7th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Leigh
I’ll pray. Though, the peace of mind I’ve got with a relatively far more reliable and RROD-safe 360 Elite is worth the additional $100 or whatnot it costs to buy it, I think — maybe Chris should get one a’them?
Also, when not using, turn off and unplug. Seems the RROD is related to a heatsink issue and isn’t as likely if the machine doesn’t get too hot.
Good luck!
September 8th, 2007 at 4:12 am
Martha Mihaly
I’m praying for you Matt, for your sanity that is!
September 8th, 2007 at 9:02 am
Jetamo
Poor Matt. It’s all Microsith’s master plan though - Each and every Xbox 360 has a time bomb. After so many hours of play, this “Red Ring of Death” appears. And it’s also how many hours after the Warrantry Magic effect has worn out. IT’S ALL A CONSPIRACY MAN!
*dons the tin foil hat.”
September 9th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
Pentharian
I’ve actually seen a temporary remedy for RROD: wrapping it in moist hot towels for a while. I’m not sure how long it keeps the RROD away after it’s happened, but some sites have whole forums of people proclaiming that it’s kept them sane until they finished their current game and were willing to send it in.
September 10th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Drachius/Felemar
The towel trick is a very, very temporary trick at best. That being said, only four bricks? There’s two people on a site I play with, one has 5 bricks the other has 7. It’s a bit ridiculous that Microsoft had clung to the “2% failure rate” crap as long as they did. That being said, look me up on Live if you play Halo 3 Matt.
Gamertag: MWC DemonHunter
September 13th, 2007 at 10:16 am
Aaron
Good luck.
I didn’t use to worry about mine dying, but I have since it started demonstrating a complete inability to play particular games without freezing. I bought mine back in March. It’s always frozen on me occasionally, but I’ve never been able to get through the demo for either of those games because a freeze is absolutely certain with them.
Now I worry that Halo 3 or Mass Effect will be one of “those games”. I plan on replacing it with an Elite as soon as I can afford to. Hopefully, that doesn’t mean next year. If the Elite has troubles, I’ll just stick to PC games.