Food courts across America experienced a dramatic up-surge in business yesterday as distraught teenagers flocked to the them to stuff their gullets with burgers and burritos after MySpace, the trendy site that is responsible for more incidents of spontaneous eye-bleeding than any since a rash of sites containing twinkly star backgrounds and colorful, animated divider bars came briefly to prominence in 1995, went down as a result of heat-wave related blackouts in California. For twelve hours, cries of “OH NOES!” went up in bedrooms across the land while greedy food court mavens jacked prices up to take advantage of the crisis.
Jeff Gillicutty, a teenager found angrily pacing in front of one of the sixteen McDonalds in the giant Mall of America in Minneapolis, declared, “This isn’t right! It’s like the terrorists won! I was just in the middle of putting in a new widget. Damn bin Laden!” Nearby, Samantha McCarty, wearing a black, ripped t-shirt reading, ‘Keep MySpace independent!’ added, persuasively, “Yeah!”
It kind of warms my heart a little when a company a billion times our size is down that long. Makes me feel a little (not much!) less guilty about our recent similar downtime. Actually, it makes me wonder why a company the size of MySpace can’t survive a regional power-outage.
6 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 24th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
Fabian
Pure, unadulterated Schadenfreude. You are a very bad man.
July 24th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
Matt
Hey, if we can’t be perfect, better for us that everyone else isn’t either!
July 24th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
Zell
I showed this post to a young lady friend of mine in Australia, who was much relieved, I believe, to find that scattered around the globe are in fact people who find MySpace every bit as aggravating as she does. You’ve cast a little ray of sunshine into the world, Matt. Thank you. We love you.
July 24th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Matt
Oh yes. I admire MySpace and recognize that it can be a genuinely useful social tool for some people, but I can’t stand it and don’t use it. Let your lady friend know that we’re out there and we’re not alone!
July 26th, 2006 at 11:28 am
Wizzel Cogcarrier Wizzleton IV
Myspace is the devil.
Yours was funnier, though =p
January 12th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
Rhyke
MySpleen.
I love the article, Matt. I find it sad that people are this distraught over mySpleen crashing. I would be mad if it happened with Earth Eternal (assuming it’s fun), but I wouldn’tblame terrorists and go sprinting to a nearby mall.